Monday, February 12, 2007

Open Adoption - What Some Experts Say

Today many adoption businesses promote the idea that it's ok to separate living family members to get babies for adoption customers - as long as the adoption is a so-called "open" adoption.

Two important points about open adoption:

1) Where "open" adoption is concerned, I'd like you to read sonofasurrogate's blog about a male adoptee friend of his...and the reaction this friend had when his real mother - whom he had known all along - had a baby.

"I innocently asked, "So J, whaddya think of Connor? Isn't he an absolute doll?" The dam burst, the levy broke and the floodgate blew apart at that moment. J, sobbing the hardest I have ever seen anyone do, flung himself across my lap, clutched my knees, and wept into my stoneblast Levis. "WHY DIDN'T SHE KEEP ME?! WHY DIDN'T SHE WANT ME?!" he wailed. Over and over he repeated these two things until the dam broke inside myself. "

and, further down the page:

"So John and Paul were wrong and Aretha was right. Love isn't all you need. You need respect, too. And respect is something I never got. Neither did Jason. The first disrespect came when you took us from our mothers and you gave us a substitute. AS IF we had no feelings. AS IF we wouldn't notice."

2) Some people say with adoption the natural mother's loss is the same as the infertile adoptive person's loss. (The mother loses her child; the adoptive person could not have their own child or lost their own child in infancy. )

But it's not the same.

  • A natural death/infertility is not the same as having your offspring taken because someone else wants to buy or "get" him.
  • The natural mother goes through the experience of having her own offspring put into a position of powerlessness, treated like a "bastard" and disrespected.
  • The natural mother may later discover that her offspring is suffering, feeling abandoned and "unwanted" by the person who was most supposed to be there for him. That when she was advised to "sacrifice" herself for her baby, the reality was that society was really sacrificing both of them.

These points are true with open adoption as well as closed adoption. If you did not already read it, please read

Love Isn't All You Need

and when you get done with that read

The Open Adoption Experiment - which was also written by an adopted person in an "open" adoption.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Adoption Quotes

Here's one very interesting quote about adoption:

Troxler, Capital College, 2000

"The giver is called the birth mother or
biological mother or natural mother. These terms cloud the fact that a mother
who 'gave up' her child was authoritatively deceived at a vulnerable
moment by her entire support system and the professionals who were supposed to
serve her

Another good quote by an adoptee:

"My real mother cried for me as my second mother wrote out a
check for my purchase. "

- quote from "My Real

Friday, January 19, 2007

Women escape maternity prison, save their babies from adoption

Pregnant Girls Flee Maternity Home

Good for them...funny the police want to charge the girls with kidnapping - because that's exactly what the owners of the maternity homes do - kidnap newborn babies and sell them to adoptive buyers.

"Choking up, Spencer Moody told reporters Thursday, "We've had a lot of parents call us and thank us for giving their girls back the way they used to be."

ie, the young women's parents want to dispose of embarrassing bastard grandchildren...and the moms and babies get no choice!!!!!!

"the couple likely will quit operating their group home."


This is a victory for women everywhere.